


things you said with clenched fists

by Bow_woahh



Series: Tumblr Prompts [9]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Arguing, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:14:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23276146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bow_woahh/pseuds/Bow_woahh
Summary: Alone, at loss for words, but still – I've won and I've lost but I've fell and I've fucked it upOrAn argument which stems from lies, deception and the past.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Series: Tumblr Prompts [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1379197
Comments: 18
Kudos: 73





	things you said with clenched fists

It’s early in the evening when Catra hears a knock on her door. 

She’s feeling good today: she hadn’t woken up with a migraine, work was bearable, and now she feels as light as a cloud, floating on the same dizzy feeling she depends on day in day out. There’s only one person who can be on the other side of the door, and just thinking of her puts a smile on her face. 

“Coming!” Catra calls, practically skipping over. 

She quickly uses some breath spray to try and wash the smell of alcohol away. Then she checks her hair in a mirror on the way to the door, ruffling it in a way that’s an attempt at looking attractive, alluring even. Unlocking the door, she greets Adora with a grin. However, the cheery disposition vanishes as quickly as it came as she looks up at her stoic expression.

“Adora, are you alright? You look a bit—”

“Save it Catra.” Adora pushes past her, only to go into her living room and pace back and forth. All Catra can think to do is shut the door and perplexedly watch her. 

It goes on like that for a couple minutes, with Adora going up, down, the length of her carpet; left – towards her – then right – away from her – with Catra watching helplessly. When she finally stops, Catra doesn’t know what to say, how to make whatever is happening better. 

Luckily (or arguably not at all) Adora is the one to take the lead. As she opens her mouth to start, Catra notices how twitchy she is, how she can’t stand still, or even look her straight in the eye for more than a couple of seconds. What happened to make her behave this way? 

Taking a breath, Adora is finally able to get some words out. “Could you, I don’t know, sit down or something? Having you standing is unnerving.” 

Catra reluctantly obeys, sitting on the arm of her couch so she doesn’t feel absolutely tiny. That seems to help Adora relax a bit, or at least it allows her to talk now because the next thing she says is:

“Catra, I – actually, lemme get right to the point. Remember how I had a bunch of payments on my card that weren’t mine? But I couldn’t figure out where they were coming from? Well…I figured it out.” Her jaw clenches tightly, so tight Catra thinks her eyeball could explode out of her socket. 

_ Oh.  _

Now Catra can’t pretend she doesn’t know what happened. What she’s done. 

But after years of practice in the art of lying, her brain goes into autopilot and her mouth moves on its own as she leans forward and says, “Oh, wow, who?” 

And all in a split second, disappointment, and sadness, and anger all flash upon Adora's face, her eyes, but it rounds back to the latter as she throws her hands up and scoffs. 

“Are you fucking kidding me? Like  _ really?”  _ Adora says, shaking her head in disbelief. 

“I—what? What do you mean am I kidding you?” Catra shrugs, continuing to spiral; it’s impossible not to, it’s second nature at this point. 

Adora takes a step forward to the couch, then a step back, hands going up to her face, then not, like she’s unsure what to do with them. 

“You know what I mean. I just can’t believe – how on earth can you sit there and lie to me, lie straight to my face?” 

Catra looks to the ground, considering what she’s meant to say next. But the resolve is all the same as she looks up and says, “Adora seriously–”

“Catra, seriously, if the next thing that comes out of your mouth isn’t you admitting to what you did, then I don’t want to hear it.” Her arms are crossed now, foot tapping as she waits for a reply expectedly. 

Groaning, Catra relents, knowing she can’t try and fool Adora anymore. “Fine, fucking fine, I did it! It was me, okay? Are you happy now?”

Now, oddly enough, Adora looks more shocked at her confession than she did at Catra’s blatant lie. Catra isn’t exactly sure why, she just can’t wrap her head around it. 

Not until Adora huffs, shakes her head even more and says, “Of course I’m not fucking happy. Why would I be happy after hearing that, Catra?” 

She uncrosses her arms, pointing as she takes a step forward. “You, the girl I grew up with, have stolen, lied and deceived me, and you don’t even seem sorry. And everyone, almost everyone in my life had told me when we started reconnecting:  _ ‘I don’t know Adora, she seems a bit suspicious, just coming back into your life out of nowhere after all these years,’  _ and  _ ‘be careful Adora’.  _ And do you know what I told them? That I trusted you. That I knew you. Clearly, I don’t.” She spits out the last few words like they’re venomous poison. 

Maybe if Catra’s brain wasn’t so cloudy with the drink she’d just had, it would’ve stung a lot more and she would’ve come to her senses. Instead, she laughs.

“Okay, yeah, I ‘stole’ from you, I ‘lied’, I  _ ‘deceived you’. _ But you let it happen, didn’t you? Because from what I hear, it sounds like, to me, that it’s  _ your _ fault Adora. If your friends Glow and Shimmer really were saying this, why not listen to them? You do when it comes to everything else.” Catra says as she tilts her head, practically grinning, completely different to the grin Adora received just ten minutes before.

Taken aback, Adora’s hands fall to her side and she stands completely still, as if she’s in a tableau. 

“They’re my friends! And I thought you were too, but it sounds like you don’t care about that. Maybe you never did. Did you–” she lets out a sharp chuckle, “Did you find me again just to…t-to lie and trick me into thinking you actually valued this,  _ us,  _ all to hurt me in some act of revenge for when we were younger? Is that it?” Her voice lowers near the end, and for a moment, Catra feels for her. But the vulnerability passes as swiftly as it comes. 

Catra gets up from her seat now, and as she walks towards her she can feel a migraine coming on, her thoughts getting even more hazy, convoluted. 

“You’re ridiculous, you know that? Even I’m not that fucking sad, Adora. I just didn’t see the big deal with me borrowing—” she cuts herself short as she nearly trips over her own feet. The alcohol's fully kicked in now. 

Adora just observes her, and letting out a sigh asks, “are you...are you drunk Catra?” She doesn’t wait for an answer. “Of course you are. I– how could I have been so stupid? How did I not notice this?” She says, looking at her with an almost pitiful look. 

Catra makes sure it doesn't last long.

“Because,” Catra says, “you only let yourself see what you want to see, you’ve always been that way, and you still are. It’s not my fault you didn’t notice, Adora. That goes for me and your stupid card.” 

Curling and unfurling her fists by her side, Adora bites the inside of her cheek. “You know what, I came here wanting one thing. Not money, not some sort of revenge, no. I wanted an  _ apology, _ an honest reason. But all you’ve done is give me excuses and blame everyone but yourself. So  _ fuck you, _ Catra.”

As Adora turns to leave, it’s then that the venom starts to seep into Catra’s blood, and her eyes begin to sting. As a last ditch attempt Catra follows her into the hallway and says, “Yeah, go ahead, leave again, like everybody fuckin’ else did! You only care about yourself, y’know that? And the people who fit in with your perfect little life, you  _ never _ even tried to understand mine. Not back then, and not now.”

That makes her turn back around again, it makes her march right up to Catra, so close that she can feel the heat radiating off her body, the pure rage seeping through. 

“That is not—”

“So stop acting all high and mighty because—”

“Stop it, Catra, seriously—”

“because I know you don’t actually care about me, otherwise you wouldn’t have left in the first—”

_ “Shut up!” _ Adora’s shouts, voice shaky.

She studies Adora carefully, who’s only inches away from her, face hot with anger and her fist now clenched so tightly her nails must be puncturing skin. It sends chills down her spine and reminds her far too clearly of a life she’s tried so hard to forget.

“Look at yourself Adora. What are you gonna do, huh? Hit me?” She says, looking her dead in the eye, as if it’s a challenge. 

That had done it. And the damage was irreversible now. 

All Adora could do was stare, eyes wide and glossed over, before unfurling her fist and turning to the door. 

“Adora…” her voice breaks. “Adora, no, wait I didn’t—”

The sound of the slam echoes through the small apartment. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I feel like this is the quickest I've been in a while at pumping works out, because I essentially have no life now but I am kinda living for it. 
> 
> Also, I'm so sorry if I hurt you reading this, but I really did have fun writing this angst so if you guys enjoyed it, I'll definitely write more like it in the future (though maybe with an eventual happy ending this time).
> 
> I have lots more fics coming in the coming weeks and I'm very excited for you to read them, for updates on them and other stuff, follow my Tumblr and Twitter: 
> 
> Tumblr: bow_woahh  
> Twitter: BowWoahh
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated (:


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